


Shopping

by shnuffeluv



Series: Other Side [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Diapers, Domestic Fluff, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Pacifiers, Shopping, bottles, but no age play in this one, sorry I wrote this bit of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6335605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/shnuffeluv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Mycroft go shopping for some supplies needed for their sessions. Fun and chuckles ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shopping

"This is just weird," Mycroft said, pulling out a shopping cart and looking pointedly at John. "Honestly, I've never done this sort of thing before."

"I can tell from your supplies, mate," John laughed. "The only things you have are diapers and toys. Babies need a little more than that."

"But still, insisting on shopping together? People will think we're a couple adopting a baby!" Mycroft thought about it, and smirked. "Oh, that could be fun. Let's see how many people we can make uncomfortable just by shopping together!"

"Hey, hey, hey, be nice," John laughed.

Mycroft shrugged and leaned on the shopping cart. "So. We're at the pharmacy, we need to get my meds...what else?" John looked at the list in his hand. "Um...one bottle at least, though I think 3 would be best for now...those nutritional drinks because they're essentially formula for adults...a package of extra dummies, more wipes, baby powder, and diapers...hm...something else I think would help but we might not find here would be a monitor, if ever there came a night where I needed to stay over again."

"That's...a lot," Mycroft said, overwhelmed. "Is all of that stuff we need?"

"Oh, be glad we're not having a real baby, they need a lot more," John assured.

Mycroft sighed and they both started going down the baby aisle. "I already see people staring," Mycroft chuckled.

John looked in the direction Mycroft's head was facing and saw an older couple sending them looks. John waved cheerfully and turned to Mycroft. "Funny, seeing as how neither of us is gay. At least, to my knowledge you're not."

"Aromantic asexual," Mycroft hummed. "So, no, not gay."

John laughed and the couple scoffed, walking out of the aisle. Mycroft and John looked at each other and snickered. "What're the odds of use getting kicked out?" John laughed.

"I'd say 40% if we don't mind our own business, 10% if we do," Mycroft chuckled. "So...in your experience, what sort of bottles would work best?"

"Well, the ones I heard last the longest are the ones made for kids. So...ah, here we go, the ones for toddlers should do. They're just big enough to have a decent drink in." John pulls 3 bottles from the shelf, complete with teats, and puts them in the cart. "Watch some nosy person pale when they see what we're buying," John laughed.

Mycroft, to his credit, smiled. "Yes, I imagine if they're aligned with the Tories they'll be appalled."

They continued down the aisle, chatting amicably. They got to the dummies and Mycroft looked them over. "They're small for me," he shrugged. "Though I don't know what I was expecting."

John rolled his eyes and said, "Well, these are backups, like I said. If they're a little small, you're only going to be using them for 15 minutes while someone washes your main dummy because you would drop it in oil and continue sucking it as if nothing was wrong in the world."

Mycroft blushed as a woman walked by close enough to hear their conversation. "Let's just get a pack before anyone else starts staring." He grabbed a pack that had little moons and stars all over the shields and he nodded. "These are good," he decided, putting them in the cart.

They made their way to the pharmacy and Mycroft filled his prescription before they did anything else, because Mycroft knew that for all his memory, he would willfully forget to fill it if he didn't do it then. That and it irritated John. Couldn't forget that. Ever.

"What're _you_ smiling at?" John teased.

"Things," Mycroft said with an arch of his eyebrow. "The fact that I no longer want to die, that I own my body again. That you're irritated with me."

John punched him lightly on the arm. "Watch it, I might make you sit in the cart at this rate."

Mycroft's eyes lit up at the prospect and John sighed. "That's _not_ supposed to be an incentive!" he exclaimed, but Mycroft has already moved on and was currently pushing the items currently in the cart to a far corner, and he hopped over the side to land perfectly in the center of the cart without so much as it wobbling. John sighed, shook his head, and took the cart to the incontinence aisle. "Now, are you going to get out or are we going to have a loud discussion about which nappies you use?"

The man in the cart turned beet red and John groaned. "Come on, give me something to work with here! You can't enjoy humiliation _too_!"

A worker walked by and scoffed at what they heard. Mycroft smirked up at John. "You said this was okay," he pointed out.

John growled and walked down the aisle. "Come on, now. Help me out and tell me which nappies you use."

"Er..." Mycroft looked down the aisle and frowned. "I'm not finding them."

John furrowed his brows. "Can you usually find them?"

"Easily," Mycroft assured. He kneeled in the cart to look at the top shelves. "They're all out? Maybe? I hope the supplier didn't go out of business or worse, go for those stupid 'absorbency pads' that don't do crap where I'm concerned. Pun not intended," he said in response to John's giggling. "Ugh. I can't believe they're out. Now what do we do?!"

John sighed. "I guess we get one that absorbs a little worse and change you more often."

Mycroft huffed. "But that's no fun!"

"Are you sure you want to act this childish in public?" John whispered. Then, louder, "Look, it's either that or we invest in some cloth nappies and plastic pants and use those until an online order can be put through."

"That...actually sounds like a plan," Mycroft said. "I mean, why not? And cloth can be used whenever we're running low, and we won't have to buy them as often and...I do have some vague memories of being in cloth nappies when I was really little. It's not entirely unpleasant."

John sighed. "All right. Let's do that then, and then I have to go home. Sherlock is going to be up the wall."

Mycroft hummed his agreement and they bought a pack of cloth diapers and plastic pants in Mycroft's size. When they got wipes and powder and went to the check-out aisle, people were starting to stare. Mycroft pulled out his phone and ducked his head to hide a huge grin. "I never realized that humiliation was something I'd enjoy. Usually I just get verbal abuse," he muttered.

John heard him and sighed. "Yeah, well, your Daddy is gonna have to remember that, maybe he can bribe you to behave that way."

Mycroft looked up sharply at the term _Daddy_. "So...you were okay with that Freudian slip when I went under?"

"Of course," John smiled. "And I can't be there for you all the time, but often enough that I think we can make this work."

Mycroft ducked his head again and John mussed his hair. "So. Friday?" John offered.

"Friday," Mycroft agreed.

Mycroft and John split the bill for the items and Mycroft hopped out of the cart, taking the bags with him. "See you Friday, I suppose," he said shyly.

"Text me sooner if you need anything," John said with a smile.

Mycroft nodded and started the not-too-long walk home, a spring ever so slightly in his step. He couldn't wait for Friday to arrive.


End file.
